


nothing but paint

by grit



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, SAKURA IS DONE, Sexism, Uchiha Sasuke Returns to Konoha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 17:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18145385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grit/pseuds/grit
Summary: Sakura has her hand fist-deep in Sasuke's rib cage, seriously tempted to rip his heart out like he did hers, a conflict of interest mitigated only by the code of honor her shishou drilled into her, when she realizes that Team Seven won't return to Konoha without him this time.





	nothing but paint

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Orlha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orlha/gifts).



Sakura has her hand fist-deep in Sasuke's rib cage, seriously tempted to rip his heart out like he did hers, a conflict of interest mitigated only by the code of honor her shishou drilled into her, when she realizes that Team Seven won't return to Konoha without him this time.

A successful retrieval mission, her Genin teammate returning to their village. Except Sakura was sent as backup, narrowly missing the fight. Except she is a Chunin, could be promoted to Jounin if she chose to. Except had Sakura run away when Sasuke did she'd have been branded as a missing nin, hunted down to be brought back dead or alive. 

How can she suddenly _not_ look at him with her muscles screaming at her to fight for her life, to go straight for his jugular? Sasuke is the enemy, has been since he turned to Orochimaru with all the wisdom of a bratty twelve-year-old.

“Sakura-chan, what if I hit something important? Can you tell? He doesn't look okay, see? He's all pale and sweaty. Are you sure he'll be alright? What if I hit something important?” 

Naruto is talking at her again, never with her, and that tears at her like an old wound.

He keeps fussing over the wound, the physical one, because Naruto has never been one for subtlety, and she has to grit out that “Sasuke will be fine” six times before it gets through to him. But he stays, pressing his hands to his knees, body tense in a way that tells her he feels helpless not being able to do anything. It's strangely vindicating until she notices that his feverish gaze is met by Sasuke's half-lidded delirious eyes.

“You should have seen me kick his butt, it was awesome! We had this whole bam-wham Chidori vs. Rasengan move at the end, kinda like on the rooftop – but then he didn't dodge my Rasengan, and well...” He shrugs, jawline still tense with worry. Sakura pretends not to flinch when she remembers how they both almost skewered her. ”I heal faster than he does.”

_Even now,_ she thinks, while her hands carefully rearrange Sasuke's entrails, chakra knitting tissue back together, _they only have eyes for each other._ Observing this moment – because for all they preach about teamwork and camaraderie, she's not part of it and never will be – she is hurting. 

Sakura knows that she can't go back to play-pretend and smiling. She would have to act as if no kunai had been wedged deep into her chest and twisted around for good measure, betrayal a jagged scar curbing her naivety. It crawls lazily underneath her skin, a reminder never to trust Sasuke Uchiha again.

Naruto has already forgiven him a long time ago. She can see it in the way his body arches towards him, almost longingly. Sakura isn't Naruto. She can't forget. Sasuke made a choice when he left, and she can't stand the thought that he won't have to face the consequences of it. 

Logically, she understands why Tsunade-shishou made this choice. He's not a civilian-born kunoichi, but a strong shinobi with a valuable bloodline limit at his beck and call. It's not fair, but Sakura doesn't begrudge Naruto his happiness, or Sasuke his second chance at life. 

Then again, she shouldn't have to stand miserably at the sidelines anymore.

She watches the clotting accelerate under her glowing palms, watches as Sasuke stirs, watches him ignore her, acknowledging only Naruto's presence, and decides that she isn't needed anymore. She picks herself up and crosses the clearing to help set up camp. They will make their way back tomorrow.

“How is he?” Kakashi asks, appearing as abruptly as always and though she first felt his lingering presence when she started healing Sasuke, his steps are still eerily silent.

“He needs rest,” she reports, unfurling a storage scroll from her pockets. “The Rasengan to his chest messed him up a bit, so he will feel some lingering pain for a while. He might even develop phantom pains, but he should remain functional.”

“Ah,” he says, picking up some crackers she just summoned, “That's good to hear. Hokage-sama will be pleased. Naruto seems happy.” He tilts his head towards the pair, Naruto visibly torn between punching Sasuke and hugging him.

Sakura hums as the blonde decides to go for both in quick succession. “Here,” Kakashi says, drawing her attention to his hand. “Good job on healing him.” He is holding a candy bar in his left and she snatches it away, popping it into her mouth. It's sour, but sour-faced is exactly how she feels right now, so she supposes that's alright. He pats her on the head for good measure, before picking up some more food.

“Did you need anything else?” She asks pointedly when he doesn't turn away from her. She doesn't think he's ever spent more time in her presence then he had to.

“Ah,” he says again, slouching into himself, “No, not from you.”

Sakura carefully doesn't react to that. She knows that he doesn't see her as an equal, and that he never will. It's hard for the men in her life to accept that she's a talented medic. It's even harder for them to consider her a good shinobi, a term she much prefers to the often smiled-at word 'kunoichi'.

“I'll take the first watch,” Kakashi adds, probably to avoid talking to her as if she's a person. “Sai is up for second, you will take the third and Yamato the fourth.”

She nods, a rigid jerk, happy about that arrangement. Kakashi hasn't taught her much apart from not trusting your teachers to have your best interest in mind, but at least he's giving her a window of opportunity. She can't read him well, but she doubts he knows what she plans on doing.

Kakashi has already begun steering away from her when he halts. There's a small delay before he opens his mouth. “Oh, and Sakura-chan? Keep it professional until we're in the village. We're still in Grass Country, and I don't want you distracting Sasuke.” 

She stiffens ever so slightly. He pats her head again and makes his way towards Yamato and Sai, who have been quietly conversing in the shadow of a birch tree.

Sakura is tired of being judged as her twelve year old self, tired of being left out, left behind. She feels like she's a half-forgotten memory to them, only remembered when they need to be healed or when she has to be reminded of not being too much of a dead weight.

The sour taste in her mouth lingers.

She forces herself to sleep, later. Tsunade-sama had taught her that trick, and with her thoughts as restless as they are, she's grateful to her for it. Her Shishou will not like her decision, but she will understand. Maybe she had known that she can't have both of them, and decided that Sasuke is more important.

Sakura has a dreamless night until Sai wakes her silently, the pitch-black darkness engulfing them making it difficult to decipher his expression. She's the Legendary Sucker's student, but she bets it's blank.

He sleeps soundly a few minutes later while she surveys the camp. Yamato is huddled against Kakashi for warmth. Her former teacher clings to him like he's drowning, and maybe he is, in his dream. She feels a sting of guilt seeing Naruto toss around, mumbling Sasuke's name. When she notices Sasuke propped up against him she quickly sniffs that feeling out.

Sakura is sixteen and she makes a choice. Hers isn't out of misguided notions of revenge or scalding anger. It's a choice by necessity. There can never be a Team Seven in Konoha and Naruto won't drag her back like he did Sasuke. Maybe he'd chase after her younger self, but he'd never think to look at what became of her.

She thinks of the people who've been kind to her, Konoha nin, for the most part. Thinks of Tsunade-shishou's excruciating training regime, Shizune's neat lab, Tenten's sharp weapons and her sharper tongue. Thinks of an area-effective Genjutsu that will let her slip away unnoticed.

Sakura's hands flash through the handsigns, wondering if she would have turned out differently had not the only female role model in her life been a doctor; if girls weren't put on Genin teams in a 3:1 ratio more often than not, almost as an afterthought.

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
> **For Orlha's prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Sasuke gets pardoned after the war and Sakura decides to defect (or maybe takes one of a team 7 along with her) Cuz she doesn't want to stay in the same village as Sasuke
> 
> -
> 
> **What happens next?**
> 
>  
> 
> Well, Sakura has the whole world at her feet, so I imagine she's going to make a name for herself and find a bit of happiness not in that, but in meeting people who actually value her for what she is, not what they want her to be. I have no sequel planned, but maybe I'll get inspired to write one at some point. Thank you for reading!
> 
> -
> 
> [the title](http://english.emory.edu/classes/paintings&poems/sullivan.html) | [my beta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanothercatgirl) | [my tumblr](https://grr-it.tumblr.com/)  
> 
> 
> -


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